


won't leave you in the dark until the sun burns out

by wastedandalone



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Hospitals, M/M, Married!Dalkenzie, Middle age dalkenzie, Set in November, Sudden Death, Turn to Stone vibes, ambulance, with a baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 08:46:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8482993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wastedandalone/pseuds/wastedandalone
Summary: “I'm here for you when you ain't here anymore; I'll stand by you when you're standing in front if heaven's door. holding you in my arms till death do us part, I won't let go. I'll be by your side till I turn to stone.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [abovemvthroat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/abovemvthroat/gifts).



> uh...I'm sorry???

dalton hasn't shaved in a couple days. this much, is obvious, because when mackenzie comes home, he's given “the look”. he didn't understand what was wrong since he was literally just making dinner for him and his husband, until mac says, “I have never seen you with so much facial hair.” 

dalton prefers his baby face, and so does mackenzie, and pretty much the rest of the world. but he's been busy with their new baby girl and his third album, and half the time he just wants to get his shower over with and get in bed. shaving is just a lot of work. he loves his husband and his precious daughter luna, but they're a lot of work. 

he finishes up the casserole he's making as he tries to distractedly hold conversation. “yeah, well, just been tired, trying to spend time with you and the baby. haven't had time to shave, it's all good.” 

“it doesn't look bad, babe, I was just shocked.” dalton leaned over to kiss his forehead, quietly asking him to set the table while he plates it. mackenzie is pulling the high chair and baby food and silverware and glasses out as dalton is asking him what kind of salad dressing he wants. mac, in turn, shoots back a similar question: “should we feed her mashed potatoes and turkey or bananas and blueberries?” 

they finally sit down with their daughter between them and a plate of tuna noodle casserole is in front of them. he asks about mackenzie’s errands and the meeting that day, and if luna behaved at the studio with dalton. the two exchange small banter, taking turns about trying to make luna eat the concoction of bananas, blueberries, and “other natural flavors”. they both know it'll be another bottle of formula for the six month old while watching bachelor in paradise that night, and they don't mind. 

they give up trying to feed her and start eating their own, now lukewarm, casserole. dalton didn't know what he was expecting from being a rockstar dad, but it certainly wasn't this. then again, not many rockstars married a southern ed sheeran. nights around the house were usually quiet, time spent playing with their pride and joy or watching a movie on hulu (which sometimes may turn into netflix and chill, or better yet, hulu and relax, but no relaxing ever gets done). dalton's on tour as an opening act for all time low, so he's grateful for the quiet nights spent with his love. 

they enjoy lighting too many fall scented candles, and going out on date night to the local diner, because they can't bother to be fancy. they like holding hands and kissing each other's cheeks in public. they like to bundle up their daughter in the winter. they like taking her to the beach and seeing the look of acceptance on people's faces as they say they're her parents. the stranger will usually smile and say, “she's got good dads, then. best of luck to you lads.” 

dalton admits he wasn't expecting this. a couple years back, he didn't think his husband would live to the wedding. he still blames himself, no matter how many times mackenzie says he shouldn't, that they're both alive and that's what matters. he always tells dalton to stop living in the past, that what matters is here and now because tomorrow isn't promised and yesterday is gone. new beginnings are important, and every night, midnight is that marker. midnight makes things new again. midnight is the start of the new day, and within the next 24 hours, one has infinite possibilities. you could quit your job, start replacement hormones, tell your parents you're suicidal and need help. mackenzie reminds dalton of these things, and after every rough day, they stay up and he tells his blond lover, “welcome to midnight.” because new starts are important. dalton tries to realize this, to put this into motion. but it's hard. yet mackenzie is relentless in helping him. 

they're on the couch cuddled up with the baby between them. the kitchen is cleaned up, there's a load of towels in the washer, and an episode of Texas Flip and Move is on TV. it's a perfect thursday night for them, and they know that all three of them will be asleep on the couch by 9:30, dalton will wake up and freak out and say he needs to take a shower, notice the news are on and waste another hour watching that. then he'll say he really needs to get up, but still won't, because he's too comfortable and mackenzie looks too cute. he'll decide his best option is to just get everyone in bed and take a shower in the morning, which, for the record, is what he always does. 

he'll get luna in her purple flower pajamas and roll her up like a burrito, surround her with her three favorite stuffed animals in her crib. then he'll pick up mackenzie bridal style and carry him the exact same way he did when walking up the steps of the cabin they rented for their honeymoon. he'll kiss his forehead on the way to their bedroom and lay his still sleeping body on the bed. he'll leave the room to go get ready for bed, and just as he's walking out, mackenzie will stumble in, still half asleep with his shirt off and pajama pants on, squinting at the light from the bathroom. 

this is all routine for dalton, and he loves it, except he knows it won't last long. a few months ago dalton was diagnosed with a rare condition called creutzfeldt-jakob disease. he'd gone into the doctor for his normal med check with symptoms that seemed off. he blamed this on the stress going on in his day to day life, but his doctor saw something different. dalton had never experienced memory lapses, hallucinations, or even trouble playing guitar — which, in turn, was trouble with coordination — until a few weeks prior. his doctor sent him in for tests and the diagnosis came weeks later. there's no telling exactly when the disease set in, and those with it usually die about a year later. 

dalton knows his days are numbered, which is why he holds mac like he's holding on for dear life every time he can. he hasn't told mac yet because he knows that his spouse would treat him different, like he's something fragile that needs to be taken care of. dalton doesn't want that. he'd rather wake up dead one day knowing he lived his last as normal as possible. 

but of course, that's not what happens because no sooner than he's asleep, he's awake and coughing up blood at 3am and mac is scared out of his mind, crying and running one hand through his hair as he holds dalton up with the other. at this moment he doesn't care that dalton is staining the sheets red; he can buy new sheets but he can't buy a new dalton. he doesn't know what to do and luna is crying so he grabs his phone and dials the emergency number. he is so scared, absolutely petrified. 

“my husband is coughing up blood and my daughter is crying and send help please,” it comes out as one big rush and he barely remains calm enough to tell the operator where they live. but he manages to do it and finally looks over at the love of his life, who's quite possibly dying with the amount of blood coming out of his mouth right now. 

he manages to stop for a moment and looks down at the blood. it's all over his clothes, the bed, he's breathing heavy and he just now notices mac’s presence beside him. 

“can you do me a favor?”   
“you get done coughing up blood and that's the first thing you ask?” 

now noticing just how tough it is for dalton to speak, he asks, softer this time, “what is it, love?” 

“tell me you love me. if I close my eyes I might not wake up and I just want to hear you say it, so that if I die tonight I can think of that and your smile and die happy.”

“dalton louis bourg-rapattoni, I am desperately in love with you. I'll make sure luna knows how great of a dad she had. I love you, I love you, I love you.” 

“thank you, I love you, mackenzie.” 

shortly after that they hear sirens and a knock at their door. mac gets up quickly to let them in. they nearly mow over the small man, demanding to know where the patient's at. he tells them he's in their bedroom and another paramedic, the tallest and bulkiest of the three is holding a teddy bear in his large hands and softly asks mackenzie where the baby's at. he shoots the paramedic a questioning look. 

“I thought you'd like to ride with your husband in the ambulance, and since there's no car seat in there, I'd be more than happy to take her in my chief's car and meet you at the hospital. I know it's kind of cold out, but I have plenty of blankets and beanies in my car. plus she gets a teddy bear to hold on to.” 

the medic smiled warmly at mackenzie before nodding his head in agreement. 

“yeah, that would be great, thank you so much. she's in the room down the hall on the right. I'm sure you'll find her. thank you, again.”   
“it's no problem at all.” 

he walked off just as the two others walked in with dalton on a stretcher. it literally made his heart hurt to see the sunshine of his life in such a position. they had an oxygen mask over his face and mac could tell he was fighting to stay awake — to stay alive. the chief must've told them that he was allowed to ride with dalton, because the two medics let him on and instructed him to sit in the seat on the left before shoving dalton in the back with him. 

mac just now noticed the features of one of the two responders, since the other had gone to the front to drive. he was a young man in maybe his late twenties with slight scruff and soft blue eyes. he almost resembled dalton, whose eyes were now shut. he fought every fiber in his being to not break out in sobs because he knew this was it. at least he was still breathing. 

he grabbed the blond's hand and felt the cold fingertips. this wasn't anything new, because he was always cold, but this type of cold felt different. the medic must've noticed the concern on mac’s face, because he spoke to mackenzie for the first time that night. 

“I think he's gonna be okay. we gave him a sedative to get his breathing back to normal. so far it's working. he's gonna be okay.” 

he stared at the pair's entwined hands, and mackenzie could've sworn he saw a tinge of jealousy flash across his face. 

“I really appreciate that, thank you.” 

the ambulance was slowing down and mackenzie noticed that they'd pulled into the emergency section of the hospital. this place was massive. 

for a minute he thought that maybe they could save dalton. maybe he's okay, this is just a freak thing, they'll be out of here in no time. he doesn't know what's wrong or if he's just really sick. he says a quick prayer to the God above that the love of his life will be okay. 

hours go by and he's holding a sleepy luna in a hospital waiting room. they've done test after test and can't seem to find anything, until they dig deep into his record and tell a shocked mackenzie that it's creutzfeldt-jakob disease and there's absolutely nothing they can do, that now it's just a waiting game. the good news is it's likely he'll die in his sleep, which means he'll go peacefully and mackenzie will wake up and dalton won't. it'll just look like he's forever asleep and maybe that won't be so hard, except he can't keep dalton in his bed forever and that's perhaps the worst part. 

they decide to keep dalton for the night, and bring in a crib so luna can sleep peacefully. they give mackenzie a blanket and pillow so he can sort of be comfortable in the chair, except he stays up all night and watches the heart monitor to be sure he's still alive. they said he'd be released tomorrow afternoon, and mackenzie is sure he can find some caffeine to stay awake until then. 

the sunlight is peaking through the windows by the time mac is finished with his fourth coffee. dalton doesn't wake up until he's finished with his sixth. 

he's only five cups in when the heart monitor goes flat.

**Author's Note:**

> ily guys thank you for reading <3


End file.
